Rough night for Omari, but it was a huge day for his forehead.

My sister was a concert on Sunday (Blake Shelton?), and got a pic with the same dude. Apparently, this beard is his daily driver.

That makes two people that wouldn't know a proactive solution if it smacked them in the face.

He'd make an awesome high school coach though.

If you write the dialogue as bro-etry, it works equally well:

To Whom It May Concern:

So... that turns your $200 Wayfarers into $8.95 generic shades, right?

Definitely a modern Panther platform car. Crown Vic, Grand Marquis, etc. I can't distinguish which.

Because of his extensive knowledge in the area, the Yankees are consulting with A-Rod on how to chose a replacement Lab.

So, Gronk ends up being the smart one? I never would have guessed.

If he was able to catch two passes from Tebow, it's clear that he has longer arms than the law.

The Toyota Celica with 'that bumper':

Wow, this is SO astute and acerbically witty of you! Are you implying that you saw this, or a similar joke somewhere else on the internet already? You're telling me that of the billions of people on the internet, someone else, or perhaps numerous other people thought of the same joke?

Update: Boston PD has located the pistol used to kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand. It was registered to Aaron Hernandez.

Based on where they apprehended him, I hope he was read his Veranda Rights.