I believe that's the new NSAnta.

Old Man yells "Get off your own lawn too!" I'm no legal scholar, but I am pretty sure this is treason in Canada.

The asthmatic, overweight father of six succumbed to a choke

Who else stopped reading at Gloria Allred?

Ah, my freaking ears!

Any professional athlete who complains about running up the score should be smacked in the face. You get paid to do a job. Do your job well, and you don't have to worry about what the moral obligations of other people who are much better at their jobs than you.

As a Pats fan, playing the Lions always scares the hell out of me. Not because they're good, but because it always seems like they're one perceived sleight away from doing some outrageously stupid like that and hurting somebody.

Let me be the first one to call bullshit. I don't care how much he might insist to the contrary; at no point in this game did the Lions 'play football'.

We found six bottles of water and have been rationing it.

Yeah nice try at the viral hoax, Niagara. No way I falls for this.

You get a lot of snow there? Thats cute

For my bachelor party my D&D buddies found three really attractive college women who played D&D and paid them a bunch to just sit around drinking beer and playing D&D with us all night. It was really awesome to be honest. Nothing weird (other than grown-ups playing D&D) happened. But man it was so much fun.

Yeah

Pay that woman her money. Pay her all the monies.

Brady: Wow, my life could have turned out completely different had the Jets changed their minds on draft day.

A poem for my new coach @PeteCarrol

Peppermint Roll?

Why is "milkshake" under "animal life"? Did I miss the episode of Wild Kingdom where they covered the great herds of milkshakes roaming the Serengeti?

Sorry Derek, I know your memory isn't so great these days, but you've been doing that for years.

Exactly. Like what's the chance the ref recognizes that as a religious act?