I think I’m legitimately missing the reference/joke. What is it?

The article directly compares the Whitehead situation to Elliot’s. Without making any judgment on the validity of this take on the Elliott story, it’s pretty obvious what this has to do with Whitehead.

With a couple of exceptions—Singapore, for example—we all live in sovereign states. A sovereign state has a defined territory, and within that territory, it has a monopoly on force and the final say on decision-making.

Also not to be confused with Bogdan “Eyebrows” Wolynetz from Breaking Bad.

CNN reporting the shooter has died.

Uh, what? Kimbrel’s is 15, Jansen’s is literally infinite. Jansen just doesn’t show up when you sort by K/BB because the sort function doesn’t know what to make of infinity.

You sure the Poland Spring bottle didn’t look like this?

This is right up there with “fractured testicle” on the list of sports injuries that I just can’t stand to hear.

“Where’s the setting to fix this in my brain?” -Eli Manning

Let’s try this simply.

Thank you. All I wanted to see was a comment about the Trop. I’m calling it a day.

TheSometimesReads

Right, because this moron is totally representative of Boston...

Where the hell is Ball St? No, really.

An injured Kenley Jansen at first?

That first image brought to you by... painkillers!

"You might be tempted to turn down the dance, but don't do that, because you're basically taking money out of the dancer's pocket just as much as if you'd just pulled a $20 out of her garter. "

"Another Wilson rep says something catastrophic—and likely intentional—would have to happen to the ball's internal air bladder to bring about the deflation the Patriots' balls are accused of undergoing."

Come on now, there's a football angle here.