Cats really do bond with their owners. Some cats are so close with theirs that they will wait for up to five whole minutes after their owner dies to eat off their fingers and noses!

Any cat owner could have told them this. Of course cats bond with their humans!

Karu Daniels (he’s the author for those of y’all not reading the byline) just hit one of my most sensitive pet peeve nerves:

I think “pulling off the ol’ double moochy” is what got him into trouble in the first place.

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

He’ll go to a Fed prison camp somewhere in the midwest full of old white people and immigrant. He’ll shave his head and remember how to talk white and just disappear into obscurity.

Yeah fuck this dude. He acted hard as fuck, fucked an underage girl, and was generally a piece of shit. He did the crime and now his ass is diming out any and everybody so he doesn’t have to do the time. That’s not gangsta. So in his honor...

Let’s ask him about his thing for fucking children, tho.

It’s hard for these old senile men to keep track of all the different lies these old senile men!

What kind of moron sends threats in a GROUP text?  

You mean the jackass deadspin rushed to valiantly defend against incompetent GMs, saying he just needed an organization who would let AB be AB. That aged as well as a magary chili fart casserole.

I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with this guy. 

No sympathy for everybody’s favorite fancy dog. You watch a Thursday night Titans-Jags game, you get what you have coming to you.

Look, we can all agree that JFJ is a hypocrite of the highest order and one of the most reprehensible scumbags going. There is absolutely no debating this.

this offense will be a high-flying thrill-a-minute fun-fest until the Cowboys come to Foxboro and Belichick pitilessly disembowels it, like the K-Gun and Greatest Show on Turf and Sean McVay’s Marionette Show before it

Big Ben on third and long:

I’m no doctor, but this guy HAS to be using a CPAP...

They way his headband looks like the back of an adjustable cap with the fan’s t-shirt in front of him, for a brief, glorious moment I though he was wearing a comically large hat.

Kansas City fans went through the entire steroid without having a player eclipse the immortal Steve Balboni’s club record of 36 home runs. A record that was occasionally reached before the all-star break by other players, had been more than doubled by Barry Bonds. The shame of this stat was overbearing. We sheepishly…

he’s a good bet to repeat this next year since Soler power is a renewable resource