No, it all goes back to that tweed-underwear Protestant work ethic that got dragged over here from England way back whenever. Thanks, Jesus-freaks. Must be seen suffering! Must conspicuously avoid earthly pleasures, and must avoid them loudly enough for everyone to hear how pious I am! Must be seen bleeding out for…

See, I translate the work hard/play hard line as “I binge drink to cope with the fact that I’m working too many fucking hours on something that couldn’t give two shits about.”

I think I work hard, I play hard means “I’m an alcoholic about four years away from blowing out my liver”.

You’re welcome! Isn’t that great?

There is nothing Sierra Nevada can’t do.

Me

Really— crossing your legs does not result in immediate auto-castration, planetary explosion, or the revocation of your Man Card.

My husband CROSSES HIS LEGS. He is truly a winner.

I keep a red scrunchie around for those occasions when I feel the need for superpowers. If I could keep a permanent stock of cherry slushies, I would do that as well. It is SO GOOD. The surreal cinematography, the clothing, the dialogue, Heather #1’s pink satin sleep-dress, the fact she slept like a vampire, the date…

I am so delighted about it. I could do this all day.

I’m having a shitty day and you guys made me smile. Stars all around.

YOU TWO

jesus christ this is like the Kennedy assassination for deadspin

The guys who wrote these letters are definitely asswipes, but they’re not 100% wrong either.

Every one of those pieces is so very.

Jesus, Simmons really has this place by the ‘nads. 5 of the top 7 articles on the front page have to do with the firing.

I seem to be forever in the greys so I’ve got nothing to lose. I just think if someone says that something is satire, they have to be able to explain what it’s a satire OF. Saying that the author is brilliant and it’s no big deal because it’s just about dresses doesn’t cut it. Even The Onion has to apologize now and…

as for whether or not something is funny, it’s anyone’s taste. i personally don’t find it fun to make women feel horrible about themselves then try to make them feel worse by not being in on the “joke.” but thanks for outing yourselves, sarah and jia, as people to stop reading immediately. good to know.

It didn’t work as full satire because the voice is pretty much in line with Jezebel’s usual tone, like you could have replaced maxi dresses with something else a Jez writer hates, like Ansel Elgort, and it wouldn’t have seemed out of place. So it read as, the writer genuinely has these feelings about the maxi dress…

read it immediately/only as a PERFECT send-up and also making fun of itself at every turn but hey everyone do what they will