The biggest news is that Zack tells people he had a girlfriend 

6 Coors light in 1.5hrs? FFS. Hangover? WTF?! This is so sad

The only good position:

Yeah. No. It JUST happened. Do you really think they’d have released the names of 5 people dead in a random helicopter crash? DO YOU REALLY THINK THEIR NAMES WOULD BE IN A HEADLINE.

Rich people aren’t really people.

Cool for you. But there are these amazing things called kiosks. OH MAN. They are such a convenience. Heard of one?

Beats by Morons. For Morons.

Beats by Morons. For Morons.

Did they though?

The best part of this story is the inability to do any background to see of this policy is consistent with other administrations/issues/vagina references.

Pop culture has LITERALLY scarred you for life.

Cool to know you are an asshole procreater 

Black holes tend to be very very tiny.

No because you are disgusting human who prioritized procreation over the future of the planet.

That Kotaku should stick to politics.

Who cares. We are all just sick of these posts. Please just...DONT

fuck every single person who thinks its a good idea to write a “X of the decade” post. You just dont have good enough friends to tell you...DONT

You mean: “Thanks for the info i should have provided in this post but I was too lazy to do a lick of research”

Gen X here. Fuck you all

Cool. My game crashes on the start screens on my Xbox One. Cannot play it. Cannot return it.

If only it didnt crash every single time it loads on my Xbox One X.