if you told me 20 years ago that I would live to see the day Robert DeNiro was out-acted by Sylvester Stallone I would have kicked you in the balls, so you really shouldn't have done that.

I will never understand how a band that sounds like Don Henley on Valium is what all the hip kids are listening to today. it reminds me of that South Park where the children all get prescribed Ritalin, and once they're zonked out of their brains on it they all of a sudden really dig the music of Phil Collins.

the thing that was so great about Leslie Nielsen from Airplane, straight on through the second Naked Gun, was that he wasn't really a comedic actor by trade, so he played everything absolutely straight, and you really bought that his character was never in on the joke. I don't think casting a comedian could ever…

captive women?

"that's some high quality raping. son, you got the goods, you're hired!"

yeah, that's a really weird deletion. it's gotta be some stupid automatic thing, cause I can't imagine that being deleted if a human were at the switch.

GOON!

I axe you, where will it all end???

don't you feel the least bit guillotine about that?

so…. Sons Of Monarchy?

that depends: as an adult do you hold women captive in your attic?

"I'm a Nazi, and I not see
the girl in the attic who is hiding from meeeeeee!"

no, as long as you know what you did wrong I'll let it slide this one time.

suggestion for the opening musical number:

where did you find a decent Robert Culp mask?

fucking lawyers.

I do, believe me. I twitch like a shell-shocked veteran watching the opening of Saving Private Ryan.

"We choose to punch these chicken hawks in the face and the other things, not because it is easy, but because they are assholes!"

I misread this as "Discovery Channel", and I'm cynical enough that I wasn't surprised.

I don't think Garrett Morris is *that* big.