Ladies and gents, I give you “San Diego bro” captured to perfection:

Two years later, the first children.

Mine is a recurring issue based upon my complete and utter lack of impulse control.

“... and I’m QUITE CERTAIN that child has done SOMETHING WRONG at some time in the child’s life. And so, EVEN IF this singular act was not DIRECTLY in response to SAID CHILD’S WRONGDOINGS, YOU CANNOT, I repeat, YOU CANNOT argue that the child did not HAVE IT COMING.”

No, dumbfuck. This country was founded on the idea that a governmental body heavily intwined with a preferred religion wouldn't impose one belief system over another.