This was my Marty. I miss him. He was a good ass boy.

The “Art Briles apologizes for everything except covering up and enabling rapes tour.”

Brick Shithouse

The jurors will soon be at liberty to tell you exactly what their motivations are. The burglary one is tricky because you have to decide whether or not he had inferred that there was an interloper as soon as he saw a strange car on the drive, and this whether his blood was already up prior to coming through the door.…

Little Jerry’s going to get his clock cleaned

Honestly, if you can’t find a way to be entertained at an NBA game notwithstanding that one or both teams’ best players aren’t playing, you probably shouldn’t waste your money. Watch it at a sports bar.

“Wait, that doesn’t sound right.”

Congrats on your poop. Best news I’ve read all day.

He’s not good enough.

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

Nate wasn’t quite sure what to do, then a brilliant idea suddenly donged on him.

This is a bad take and I hate the Celtics and don’t care about Paul Pierce at all.

A 5-second violation is for in-bounding the ball and the ball was in-bounded. Next time understand the rules before you try to put blame on the refs/commissioner.

The act of defining “unnecessary” and “essential” is like, the entirety of political philosophy.

If Jay Cutler is calling the shots then he’s likely to end up on a completely different team than the one he’s intending to go to

Counterpoint: the Uncle Drew ads are fine.

“bullshit”

Fattest president since Taft? Fattest president since Taft.

Use a private browser, too - you don’t want those cookies and (linen) ads following you around the internet.

What’s Black And White And Red All Over? This Weak Shit.