They keep interrupting the date to solve crimes, then back to the lab for more full penetration, more date, more crimes, more full penetration, until eventually the movie just ends.

That site is so hilariously nutty/sad, with his insistence that every politician and actor ever are "played" by the same 10-15 people.
I encourage everybody here to visit it, if only because the sudden uptick in web traffic will probably send him into some sort of paranoiac episode.

"…And so does Gertrude Stein!"
(With Peter Sellars as three different yet distinct strains, because he's so versatile!)

"I just… I just feel like all the romance has gone out of our post-apocalyptic dogfucking. Whenever you're with me and Rover you skip straight to the rough animal sex without any of the butt-scented candles or the pile of revenuer skulls covered in rose petals and spent shell casings. Our non-ironic KKK cosplay used…

This Ain't Walking Tall: A Parody

Yea verily, Lisa doth need braces!

AHS: The Cap-Snappler Murders

I made this joke before reading the wiki articles about the case and now feel like a horrible person for making any sort of joke in any proximity to this story. Ye gods!

Yeah, the whole: "bag yourself for easy disposal" really added an extra wrinkle of horribleness to that one.

Even the commercial breaks are depressing: every 15 minutes or so they're going to remind people what the McRib is really made of.

The Abby Arcane post-Blackwater Restorations realization shower would be appropriate, as well.

There are a few, and there's finally been some push-back on the issue, but in the overwhelming majority of cases you're sadly right on the money.
It is mostly a superhero thing, though, as it seems to play into certain people's power fantasy wish fulfillment issues. Lots of good non-super comics out there, though.…

Awww, I was really hoping it would be Daddario, if only for the really shallow reason that she's got Meg Foster eyes (the previously unheard of non-terrifying variety, that is).

The thing is, though, that as he's been doing this for so long, he probably didn't just stop.
There are, in all likelihood, more recent cases that would still be prosecutable.

That sounds like the most depressing "Oprah surprise gift to entire audience" ever.

They even have a special key on their old-timey typewriters!

Well, since Family Guy is still in production, we'll probably have the opportunity to find out eventually.

"It (actually wouldn't be all that much worse if it was)'s a cookbook! A cookbook!"

Even truffle hunters?

Ennis Cosby? Wow, I did not see that coming.