I know, right? I dreamt I had to live there for a year. It was a really long and exceptionally dull dream.

I'm pro on most things being served with melted cheese and guac.

To be fair, that would indicate Italian food existed on the premises.

Jan74, that is so fucked up and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I admire you for adopting. It's a calling, and something many people couldn't handle. People will always find some reason to feel smug/superior to others. It doesn't compare, I know, but I feel judged because, with my bio child, I (gasp!) had an…

Indeed they do. People act like propagating the species is some sort of self indulgent act, wherein The Breeders take advantage of the childless by availing ourselves of the pittance of benefits we get in the U.S.

That's so disappointing that a group of war criminals who carry out widespread ethnic and religious cleansing, rape women, and employ child soldiers...eat junk food. I mean, profiteroles with cheap chocolate? How gauche. With all the money they steal, surely they could fly in some artisanal toast. I'm worried…

Because of course she is. And of course he's a Marine vet. It will be the most Murrica wedding reception ever. Vats of ranch dressing and celebritory gunfire. Then Mama grizzly will stand up and utter disparate words for 20 minutes while burning Obama in effigy.

When they finally bring the owners of this madhouse forward at The Hague, people shall weep and say "Why didn't we stop them sooner?!??!!" Seriously, St. Louisians, what the ever loving fuck?

You are doing God's work, my friend. This pizza aggression will not stand.

Truth. You make fun of where you're from, where you've been, and where you are. There's wonderful sarcasm and humor to be mined in every place and every topic.

Gawd, Pinkham. I love you like a $5 hooker, but come now. You can't hate on the fans of every other team that's not your team. I mean you can, but....can we all just unite against PA sports fans already?

Truth. As with all things, Mass is wrong on this. Unfortunately, it is also annoyingly good at promoting its groupthink.

Why? Because she *has* learned nothing. It's Katy Perry. How many times does she have to date John Mayer before it sinks in that he's 5% skin and 95% douche? The girl is nothing if not persistent in her wrongheadedness.

Oh, that was some master level burn right there.

Is that red lipstick on the girl scou- err guide on the left??! I mean, it's the rare solid match of red lip/skin tone, but she's a mite young, right?

Finally! Lo, I have trudged through all of these reasonable comments, waiting and waiting for the batshit crazy argument to happen. I knew this day would come. Sniffle.

"I also think there's something classist about being more concerned with animal rights than with human rights."

Yeah, I get that putting bodily fluids in someone's food is disturbing, but I'm never not going to laugh at the mental picture of someone doing a demented jig while chanting and rubbing chicken fingers on their, um, tender loins. That's pretty funny in a silly, absurdist way. It's also fairly harmless compared to…

Sounds like they were out of clams. Well, in the porno, at least. Shazam!

Yeah, a nice shot of protein.