he thought it would exonerate them.

Rhodes told the police he didn’t actually have any weapons in his car

I am curious what that particular conspiracy theory is, yet I very strongly do not want to google it. 

You might be surprised at how many straight up sociopathic assholes work for charities (and churches and hospitals, etc).

Due to the implications that it has for his longevity, I sincerely hope that Don Jr. is really eating four pounds of red meat a day.

There is no denying that Elgort is conventionally attractive

Dollar Tree Wolverine got no game. 

Ok Gen Z, when we tried to tell you not to bring back low rise jeans, this is what we were trying to protect you from. Now yall are going to start getting tramp stamps.

It’s a start but damn did we have to see the goddamn murder on camera for it to happen?

This is obviously the right verdict, but one instance of justice does not make the system just. It’s great that his fellow officers came out to testify against him, but doing the right thing once doesn’t mean the blue wall of silence has been destroyed. It is great that one sociopathic cop is off the force, but there…

Why are you like this?

Or you tell them what I told my nephew when he was spouting Qanon shit:

No, it’s the same Geraldo. This is quite obviously a personal beef. Geraldo thinks Bongino is a hack, Bongino thinks Geraldo’s an old hack. I don’t want to take sides, but they’re right.

Yeah, but the things I need to get through the debates are full of carcinogens too, so it’s a wash. (Narrator: he’d come to regret not understanding what “it’s a wash” meant at roughly 4 AM)

I work in public health. I have offspring and a husband.

Too many things are happening but also nothing much is happening at all, and I find I have nothing particularly interesting to say about it.

Jeez, dude, you could’ve sent one fake tweet just saying BUTT over and over before doing the “right” thing.

Adam Carolla is the feint action that distracts from the fact that Drew Pinsky is an exploitive proto-Doctor Phil.

Yeah. Do not watch Coco. Your eyes will turn to ash. 

Maybe it makes me a horrible person, but the idea of a bunch of jolly kids all eating turf after tripping over an ankle-high fence in their rush to get Halloween candy is friggin’ hilarious to me. A finer slapstick comedy set-piece I can hardly imagine.