He had his slimy octopus testicles all over everyone, didn’t he?

Molested and then murdered by the local bicycle shop owner

Cornered and eaten by feral ALFs.

Most 80's? Hmm. Probably either drowning in slime or accidentally slitting his wrists with a slap bracelet. How about ‘choking on a loose rhinestone poorly bedazzled from a Skid Row jean jacket while staring blankly at a nearby man with a Flock-of-Seagulls haircut signing away the deed of a summer camp to a toxic…

What’s the most 80's way to kill a sitcom dad? I think you go Punky Brewster and have him suffocate to death in an abandoned fridge. 

Someone get Ted McGinley on the phone!

They are now a Cousin Oliver and shaggy dog from completing Sitcom Death Spiral Bingo.

Murray died on the way back to his home planet. 

Fuck no.  I still owe a lot of jocks noogies and wedgies.

We nerds have inherited the earth.

If you ever use the starting phrase “__’s a feminist (...)” for your sentence, with the implication that feminism is somehow a bad thing, you’ve immediately entered people-are-going-to-laugh-at-you territory with your comment.

“That day, for no particular reason, I started singing. So I sang until I got to the Withywindle. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d sing down the Withywindle until I got to the Brandywine. And I figured, since I sang this far, maybe I’d just sing across the great land of Eriador."

“My man fee fees are hurt cuz wimmins r in this!” - ObjectiveTruth

“They didnt give us enough money for daddy’s work” is the subtext underpinning every word out of the Tolkien Estate’s mouths when it comes to the adaptations. Scions of actually talented people are the worst.

“So I went Mirkwood...again. And I met the Elvenking...again!”

Tom Bombadil "Forrest Gump's" his way through ten thousand years of Middle-Earth history.

Soon all that will be left will be a miniseries consisting of all the bits cut from every other Tolkien where Bombadil appeared.  

Sophia Nomvete is the the first to play an actual female dwarf character rather than a silent background extra for a few seconds of screentime.

lol. Triggered?

All Tom Bombadil, all the time.