“It’s my massive cock!”

And might I add . . .

The ideal Chuck Norris game? Conan O’Brien’s Walker, Texas Ranger Lever Simulator

Knock-knock!

It'll be called "Go Down".

Time for Dylans McDermott and Mulvaney to step up.

Nice pull!

Ken's a genius in France.

I'll give you $3.17 for the theme song to Freakazoid and that's my only offer!

Drugs are a helluva drug.

My work here is done.

All the people you mention were competent, gave a damn about safety, and weren’t risking lives in the name of tourism. That being said, I am sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that.

Part of my wonders if he’s coaching his statements because he doesn’t want to get sued by said company for slander. Or if there was an NDA buried in whatever waver he had to sign for his three expeditions.

Hachi-machi! It stinks! Good night!

And he was the bestest boy of all.

Right here in River City!

In the next year or two there will be two movies based on this incident. One will be a dramatic tragedy, and the other will be a satirical comedy. They will both be accurate retellings of events.

You’re darn tooting, buster! Now, shift those pins! We gotta get down to the docks lickety-split if we wanna scoop the Tribune on this counterfeit war bonds caper! C’mon! Last one to the jitney’s a kippered kraut!

But for several other reasons, most of which have to do with Stan Lee. But don't worry. Once news of this gets to his ghost he'll crank up the RPMs.

They deserve candy or gum, not both.