What the hell is wrong with every person in convicted rapist, Brock Turner’s life?

Later, in the staff meeting, Dan presents all his interesting and unexpected findings, without a hint of irony.

Hi Dan—

In case no one noticed, in his pile of sub-taco-bowl reading material is a picture of ex-wife Marla Trump in a bikini.

Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in “Mommy Dearest,” blew me away! She was better at being Crawford than Crawford was!!

i’m not crying you’re crying

Seth Woken

Disenfranchised, poor, and minority groups often have to grow up a little faster than the privileged. Instead of calling her parents crazy, I wonder why your reaction to this obviously intelligent child who is old enough to understand that her drinking water is poison isn’t one of pride and support?

Sanderson finished a book and wrote 50% of another in the time it took you to type that.

I appear to be alone in this, but I find Sanderson ridiculously overrated. I’m voting Joe Abercrombie for replacement GRRM.

lets start a kickstarter, because this is hilarious

Ted Cruz is an alien that was kicked off his home planet because even they don’t like him.

What if there are aliens among us, and they’re the ones voting for Ted Cruz as part of their plot to take over the Earth?

How much longer until someone offers this guy a huge advance for a tell-all book about his time living with Ted Cruz?

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

They’re lucky to have escaped Fanadik Island before being eaten by the native fauna.

Despite his comments about at least two of his daughters (Tiffany here, the comments about Ivanka saying “If she weren’t my daughter...”), I actually don’t think he wants to have sex with his own children. Rather, I think he believes that the highest compliment you can give a woman is to call her fuckable. Which leads…

Drumpf get’s his small hands from his mom