I'd be alright if simpering Jimmy had died instead of Gene Wilder.

Never turn your back on a year while it's still in progress.

God damn it. 2016, keep the ball punches coming. I don't feel anything anymore.

Why? The original is a classic. It's perfect.

Where am I going to post my highbrow dick jokes?

That's some brilliant satire. I wish I'd thought of it.

Stay relevant, AV Club.

No, it's not. There shouldn't be any fans of this tripe to begin with.

Ugh. Years of listening to assholes quote Heath Ledger's Joker as if lines in a crummy blockbuster movie qualified as philosophy, and now this.

Clint, let's be honest. You might not be here in four years.

You're seventeen and rich. You have nothing interesting to say, no insights on life, and no reason to be publishing a memoir unless you plan on dying next year.

Golly, I hope he snapchats the whole thing! That would make the fuddy-duddy Golden Globes new and hip and VIRAL!!!!

When did his credibility dip by the way? Was it before Puppet Master VS Demonic Toys?

They just can't let Corey Haim rest!

They should make Johnny Depp play lead guitar on "Only Women Bleed."

Haha, calling what these people do "journalism."

Sic Kemper Tyrannis: How I Assassinated Two and a Half US Presidents and Learned Nothing In Latin School

Good thing we'll all be dead by then.

Memoirs should only be written by people who are several decades out of diapers, and only a few years away from wearing them again.

Who doesn't come with anal beads?