Aspect ratios matter.

Can I buy some pot from you?

To what degree to I have to participate in your self-image?

Oh shit, it’s Marceline the Vampire Queen!

A shopper walks under her umbrella outside a Sears store October 24, 2001 in Niles, IL. Sears, Roebuck and Co. said Wednesday, October 24, 2001 that it is eliminating 4,900 salaried jobs over the next 18 months and revising its merchandise offerings as part of a cost-cutting overhaul. (Photo via Getty Images.)

old-school speeding

Manual transmission? CRUISE CONTROL. Set and forget: no speeding tickets!

Yeah, I don’t quite get the disconnect between “I’m religiously going to abide by underage drinking laws” and “drunk driving, is that even illegal?”

the imminently punchable white supremacist Richard Spencer

All of this is missing the point.

She is a civilian with civilian interests.

It’s a crime that buildings like this exist without contributing to property taxes.

Heads-up: may want to check your thumbnail.

Why did the waiter bother to scribble out a card number that was already printed mostly as a series of Xs?

... the Whitney Biennial ...

You’re a monster and should never be allowed to operate a motor vehicle again.

Where’s Zeppelin’s credit?!?

I started getting into accidents when I turned legal drinking age, but I learned my lesson quickly.

You could always watch Crashing to hold you over.