Most kids are over 8 pounds.

What if we bring ramen and only make it later on, when they bring around hot water for tea?

...free pepperoni Stromboli earlier this year... praying that the Stromboli samples are back.

Also, fuck booster seats in cars. If you’re big enough to not need a full-blown car seat, you can make do with the regular straps like a grown-up.

I didn’t mind spending .99 cents on him.

So you should never take a job that requires a security clearance?

five hard drives containing more than 40 videos and 400 images captured by secret cameras

I’m Catholic, too! When people don’t accept the tenets of Catholicism, they have to start their own church - hence all those heathen Christian spin-offs, Martin-Luther-style.

Personal faith, sure. But when you join a club you follow its rules.

Those people aren’t actually Catholics, any more than someone who eats meat whenever they please can claim to still be a vegetarian.

Exactly.

their 2014 Altima’s CVT transmission

A quarter of a billion dollar loss is a large one, even for the cartels.

According to its metadata, the photo was taken in April 2005, suggesting a long relationship with the tour company.

Smoking a little crack after sex has really helped me take the pressure off having orgasms.

Go home grandma. You’re irrelevant.

a chain called Milestones (“my-uhl-stones”)

a failing grade on a Calculus test

Install? Floor hole? Just put a box fan in an attic window. Done.