I would be so honored.

After he’s on record as having been turned down by the real Carla Bruni. Remember John Baron (or whatever the fake name was) bragging about how she wanted him? And then shortly after, he marries a discount Carla.

He also kept grabbing Michelle’s arm and pulling her in and whispering in her ear, like three or four times as she tried to get away, and then watched her ascend the helicopter steps like his mom was going away forever/ had a great ass/both.

Issues require nuance, but nuance kills a good sign. We should brainstorm on behalf of anyone slogan-ly challenged.

Have you joined the meetup group for Jez?

Is there a reason you needed to make someone feel bad for something harmless?

This is a jokey post about the similar tone and ideas, grounded in the truths of plagiarism throughout his campaign and his general venality and cartoonish unsuitability. Conservatives never cared a whit about the real horrors and dangers; how could a silly joke change anything? It’s also ridiculous to make liberals…

Jesus fucking CHRIST.

Probably someone is messing with us. Luckily, we don’t care and this will be the last of it.

I don’t know what she’s doing but I want it stopped.

Disagree, but don’t give a shit.

I’m “used to a certain lifestyle” will always be my favorite nonsense. As if rich people, by virtue of being rich, are incapable of adapting to any other reality. This goes for exwives and exhusbands too. Poor people, of course, adapt to anything and have no choice. How fragile are these fuckers that they lose all…

“She is used to a certain lifestyle,” they said. “If you don’t grab her pussy and call her Farrah, she doesn’t understand.”

The negative one doesn’t appear unless you’ve personally dismissed.

This was “by far the longest punishment ever imposed in the United States for a leak conviction.” Not espionage. She’s been punished for seven years which, if we weren’t such a punitive society, would be understood as a pretty big punishment. You take it more personally because you are military.

I love her and her beauty makes me want to learn to paint, but I don’t understand her clothes. She’s very short, but she dresses in boxy, fussy shapes that shorten her legs and neck and drown her. It just seems like a weird fashion era (50s-60s?) for her body type. This outfit on Ellen isn’t terrible, but she still…

It’s got to be a symptom of his systemic Dunning Kruger-itis. On every level, he sees greatness where the opposite is true, from his positive body dysmorphia to his delusions about his capacity to handle one of the hardest jobs in the world with one tiny hand tied behind his back.

It’s not Melania’s *fault* that her husband is a jackass, but the fact that she’s a voiceless complicit prop does matter.

Now *that’s* a goddamn cover band. And the name is cute, too.