With fraudulent debit card charges, you’re fighting to get your money back. With credit cards, you’re fighting to keep the money that is still yours.

Depressingly, they aren’t frequently swayed by things like facts.

Sometimes the free market needs to take a backseat to helping people.

If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much.

Forget that. I’m going to pull a Costanza on those kids.

On the contrary, you need to holiday proof your kid. I make sure my house is a festive yet secular death trap so kids know they’re not welcome.

We celebrate both holidays fully, but we also pick a day between for Chranukkah. (Pronounced Chonic-ah). It’s a day for misbehaving, and I aim to misbehave.

When dealing with older conservative relatives, I’ve found that all you have to do is tell them their cable/internet bill will go up. They’re already enraged by the price they pay to watch NCIS and this is salt in the wound.

Shouldn’t the FAA have rules against throwing any kind of shit out of airplanes? If someone can throw a live turkey, can they throw a frozen one?

I’d be curious if ginger, dramamine, etc would help.

Everyone has their talent, I suppose. Public toilets are a special kind of hell. First I wrap the flush sensor with toilet paper so it can’t flush while in use. Then I use a fist full of toilet paper to scrub down the toilet. Sometimes the floor in front of the toilet too.

Have a solid stance because that dog is going to jump into you. And if you get knocked down, that dog is going to hump you.

Could endorphin release also be a reason for picking? Same basic idea as cutting but 1/1,000,000,000th the scale?

Hey dawg, I heard you like diabetes, so I put some diabetes in your diabetes.

SmarterEveryDay had a video about poop splash. In the end, laying a sheet or two of paper on the surface of the water prevents splash. (Confirmed)

“She also noted that none of the black children who came in trick-or-treating acted rambunctious or disrespectful in any way.” It’s depressing as hell that she had to say this this because she knows the kids will be personally attacked and slandered.

“You could even jerk yourself off in front of people, if you wanted. After this was brought to Valve’s attention, the game was temporarily yanked from Steam”

He fell into a black hole. That’s spaghettification.

You’ll know if your kid was slipped an edible if an hour later all their candy is gone, as well as their sibling’s candy, all the boxes of cereal, and a block of muenster cheese. You can double check your suspicions by asking them to tell you what the universe is made of.

I used to feel this way about a lot of cosplay until I found a new way to think about it. There are two kinds of cosplayers: those that want to bring the video game to the real world and those that want to put themselves into the video game.