My mom is prime example. She didn’t know about me until around 7 months pregnant and, even then, she found out by an accidental doctor’s appointment. From what I know, she had already been declared infertile by doctors, a couple of miscarriages, and super irregular periods bordering on mostly none, and she spotted…

OMG you know my struggles! I traveled from metro Detroit to Chicago once, because I heard that they had a food truck that sold döner (And there was the Christmas market too, but that was mostly a ruse to get my husband sold on a weekend date). Anyway, this food truck had only chicken döner and pommes. That’s it. I…

You have made me want döner and I have no döner , nor any place nearby to purchase it until July. I am now hungry and sad.

I know of the Timmy Horton spell. I was once in CanadaLand in the summer. Timmy’s had a special on frozen coffee slushy beverage thingies and it was a hot day. So my friend and I went to a Tim Hortons close to our hotel. Sadly, their iced slushy coffee machine thingy was broken. I left the store rather brokenhearted…

What is it with people thinking that just because there’s a law somewhere, that the law is always followed?

Fun fact: When Michigan finally got a Sonic, it made the news because of the congestion it caused to the surrounding roads. When the second location opened up near my house, I refused to go anywhere near it for two months because the car lines backed up about 4 major roads.

Nope, pretty sure my cat is just a dick. He has decided that my long sleeve shirts are a threat to our society, so whenever I wear a long sleeve shirt, he waits until I sit on the couch, he then growls and attacks my arm with kitty ferocity, and then gets offended when I pull him off of me. Wait ten minutes, repeat.…

The squirrels at my University are spoiled rotten and they taunt the students. One chucked a pizza crust at me from a tree branch as I sat on a bench below. Then he chittered at me for half an hour.

Not technically customer service related, but I remember when karma bit my old boss in the back. We offered theoretical, unproved, woo-y treatments for autism that didn't really do much except suck people's wallets. It was my first "big girl" job, so I overlooked a lot. Eventually, people didn't have enough money to…

No you don't. Mine has the idea that she likes pizza but, as soon as she sees it, she decides that she hates it. She really only like pizza night because we get the bread with the pizza.

Thing is, people haven't seen the worst of these diseases. Take the flu, for example. Most people grumble that they got the flu because they were throwing up or had a fever. Many times, it wasn't the flu. Best example I ever heard was this: I put $500 in an envelope on your bedroom door while you're sick. If you…

I get my preschooler dancing with "I Got My Mind Set on You" all the time.

Usually, when someone uses the words "anxiety" and "uterine bleeding" in the same subject, it's because the woman *isn't* bleeding.

As a young adult living at home (aka 19 years old), I wanted a rat. My dad went on this insane dramatic reaction about plague. It was something like a grown-ass, middle aged adult throwing a temper tantrum at there mere *idea* of a rat in his house. He was absolutely convinced that rats would kill us with plague. I…

Forgive me, I'm doing homework and there is an abundance of umlauts all over the place. My hand is so umlaut-happy that I'm ready to start inserting umlauts into English words.

Flusspferd oder Nilpferd.

My favorite metaphorical German word is Kümmerspeck. Literally, "grief bacon" for eating out of sadness. It kinda sorta makes sense.

Same. We just had this conversation yesterday in German, about how concrete and logical German vocabulary is. Like my favorite German vocabulary word: die Antibabypille.

Thank you. Time may not heal all wounds, but, a decade later, I handle it better than I used to.

A very close relative of mine died suddenly, far too young, only a month after his birthday. In that same 30 period is the anniversary of my grandfather's death, the grandfather that I was closest to. While his death was expected, given his age, it's hard on me every year during that month. That period of time can be…