You are rock hard right now, aren't you?

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

+1 for “grease and shovel racket” reference. Bravo. 

People are often grateful that they can go an entire life without stepping foot inside Indiana. I am not fortunate to be among them.

That moment also produced one of the greatest NFL memes in internet history:

browns fan here: i actually was rooting for the browns to lose that game, just because the steelers missing the playoffs meant so much more to me than the browns finishing with a winning record.

It’s an honest-to-God pretty city with a lot to do, but the surrounding hills amplify all the assholes’ voices. 

The best part for Steelers haters is that the team stayed on the field to watch the end of the CLE-BAL game on the final Sunday of the regular season, hoping for a Browns win so PIT could make the playoffs. The Browns naturally lost. I can’t think of a better ending for these shiteaters than to be reduced rooting for…

We call it “soccer” the way God intended in these parts.

This is why I don’t own a private plane. Far too dangerous.

You could also mention it was probably the most accurate pass thrown all day.

He’s a role model for every high school kid, surviving a cock block on the way to second base.

I don’t know man, marketing... For these things to really possess you, drive your passion, it has to be natural, real, not fake.

Double bounced, actually.

I hope you find it soon, Mr. Hewson, but it's been 32 years. You might just want to give up.

Bears... Ley...

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

All hail Titan. But I came here for a dog pic thread and fuck me, I’ll start one. Here’s Ben wondering how this stretching thing is done:

Went to a Bark In The Park at the local single-A park. The right fielder’s parents sat out in the grassy knoll in right field and they brought the right fielder’s dog from home, whom the right fielder hadn’t seen since he left for spring training. My heart grew three sizes when the right fielder jogged out to his…

Went to the Orioles’ Bark at the Park Night last year without my dog (because he’d get thrown out in 30 seconds) but sat in the doggie section and gots lots of weird looks for not having a dog. Even then, like you, still a top sporting event and also saw maybe 1/2 inning of action.