Poor Chris Archer, who didn’t want any part of the mess, was nonetheless punched and tossed around.

I am contractually obligated to tell you to go fuck yourself with a rotten lobster roll and never, EVER, under any circumstances come back to Buffalo. We don’t take too kindly to your type, here. Sitting in the stands quiet as a fucking mouse, barely clapping, for the first 58 minutes of regulation until Mr. Kraft…

“First game I went to was a game where the Patriots killed Buffalo.”

An Aussie friend asked me to explain a Buffalo reference in a Simpsons episode. He thought I was exaggerating for effect. 

“Kudos, Nathan, on a job...done.”

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

“The King. Well, he ain’t doing too well. Fucking Peterman.”

She’s asked if we can go to another game. I don’t know whether to be happy she likes football or worried she wants to be a Bills fan.

FDR to Hirohito, 1942.

Right? That was my first thought. That’s what I did when I saw Sleep in June.

The Bills once being Super Bowl contenders is like the Republican Party once championing black civil rights: a historical fact that seems like a myth and also something that will never, ever happen again. 

I’m a Lions fan living in NW PA. I took my family (including my 12 year old daughter) to the Lions/Bills game last year. Within 150ft of where we parked the car, she saw 2 keg stands and a drunken woman writhing in the mud. My wife gave me a furious look and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and mumble “Bills…

The only thing that sucks now is I have to have tickets on my smartphone instead of paper tickets, and with the new policy, I have to pay international roaming charges on my cell phone to use my ticket.

Am I the only guy who thinks of this guy when they talk about Peterman at QB?

“Stewart told reporters that Campbell had recently met with the financially troubled, scooter-confined former heavyweight fighter Joe Louis and that Campbell had told Stewart, “I don’t want to end up like Joe Louis.””

The platonic ideal of the leadoff hitter is Rickey Henderson. In no universe is he a weak hitter.

My wife and I traveled to a wedding a few years back and the girl across the hall was very much enjoying her partner. My wife was about seven months pregnant and so constantly exhausted that she slept through all of it save one part: “you drunk idiot, you just put it in my ass!” I was happy that we got to share that…

Why would I divorce someone who lets me screw her at her office?!

Even higher if the roommate is alone.

“Coroner" seems like a big miss here tbh