they should probably start the layoffs with their fucking HR department, because they sound hideous. 

Those titles feel like they were written by a new Tom Haverford/Jean Ralphio venture.

Sadly MLB made Budweiser the official bubbly in all locker room celebrations. They even have them make these big ass magnums of shitty beer. Also NewEra is the official beer goggles. (I wish I was kidding about all this)

You missed the “rebrand then retract the stupid rebrand” step

Man, these anti-vaxxers sure do love trying to expose other people to diseases. 

Does no one in America know the meaning of the word “treason”? 

Let’s see, this seems to be the current publishing strategy:

1) Print circulation declines;
2) Fire staff and make product worse;
3) Hire new, young, web-first staff;
4) Make website based entirely on reader data;
5) Blame newsroom for inability to sell website;
5) Repeat endlessly from step 2 until you run out of money.

…

“....and while I know this is a hard day for many of you, we will do our best to support your during this transition. And also FYI, Walter Iooss Jr. will be taking photos of you all while you clean out your desks, so feel free to ham it up.

“...they fear that one of the groups (“Thanos-like”) will be given pink slips, with the other told it is safe.”

I suppose the bright side is that she could have been soaked in much worse in the clubhouse in Oakland.

Right-wing charismatic evangelicalism is probably a better way to term it, since what we’re talking about is semi organized politically oriented conservative Protestant groups. I don't tend to quibble when Americans use "evangelical" as short hand, even though it's not a good use of the word if it is meant to really…

If there is a baseline between exuberant celebration and disturbingly degrading behavior, these videos are a slow roller toward first that might not stay in fair territory.

“... just two of 17 girlfriends Gayle had at the time of the murder.”

Something about this one makes me nervous, like there’s something serious going on here that the Bears are content to sweep under the rug in the name of Footbaw. I have absolutely no knowledge of the situation, of course, but the hushed tones (particularly the Mack quote above) and the cloak-and-dagger act give me a…

What if - and bear with me now - instead we ate both the restaurant owner AND Darren Rovell?

Thinking about anyone being ‘with Darren’ is such an unsettling thing to consider.

Anyone who doesn't finish "get a load of this" with "fuckin' guy" like a shitty 70s NY mobster should be fired into the sun.

“some middle aged people doing goofy bullshit”

HAHAHAHAHA SO fucking SPOT ON! That’s some shit you see in the guide and go from “Real Sex, eh? to... oh... OH, HELL NO!” in a hurry. The best part about it was the “couple on the street” interviews where one person would say something that embarrassed the hell out of…

“Then again maybe I’m a dork.”

No “maybe” about it, kemosabe. 

Who says “acme” that isn’t Wile E. Coyote?