Endorsements help educate consumers, and sham endorsements short circuit that process. For example, I was once a State Farm customer, because family is important to me and it came through how important family was to the Paul twins (Chris and Cliff). But I switched to Nationwide because I value creativity, and the…

“I have never thought that thing I said” is pretty impressive by the admittedly already high standard of bullshit to say in insincere apologies. 

Gotta say, that bank is on point with the potential frauds. Hearing “Fan requires $724 worth of beer to get through Dolphins game” sounds uncannily plausible.

What that vendor is shocking! You usually get 4 beers for that price.

I shall invent a device that alerts Dolphins fans when they are being erroneously charged for purchases. It will emit a Dolphin-call shriek if a skimmer is used to rack up a fraudulent charge. I will call it “the Miami Sound Machine.”

Nothing more American than being wrong, I guess.

Between this and Doctor Dao, United is the Vontaze Burfict of airlines.

These earlier episodes of BattleBots are much more dangerous than I remember them.

This is the biggest hit I’ve seen laid on a number 11 who couldn’t handle drinks since Phil Simms.

If only all NFL owners had the moral fortitude to just not sign a headhunting sociopath, but let’s be real here. Not like he did something dangerous or distracting like, I dunno, refusing to stand for the national anthem.

I wonder how much damage, in his quest to injure other people’s heads, Burfict is doing to his own brain. I mean, it’s hard to pity a guy who’s main goal seems to be trying to paralyze other humans under the cover of a “game” but I can’t help but imagine using his head as a battering ram has to have negative impact on…

This might be one of those rare situations where a union’s job to protect players means it should take some sort of extraordinary action against another player if the NFL is unwilling to.

So, Maddon is the perfect fit for this opening, right? I don’t see how it’s anyone else.

This will be Burfict’s 14th suspension in his NFL career, and his third for an illegal hit. After his ejection, the Raiders captain ran off the field blowing kisses to the booing crowd.

Why would they delay the implementation of the bill for over 3 years? 

The only reason I’m not more of an alarmist about this is because Trump’s most fervent supporters are also establishment sycophants that prefer to do their “winning” from the comfort of their La-Z-Boys with Fox News warbling in the background. This isn’t to say that there aren’t any Trump supporters that would answer…

“His name is Jock Strap King” and “He’s stronger than you think.”

Where have you parked your Tesla?

good time to point out that Joe Ricketts is trash

What’s with all these blue shirts? You think blue shirts are cool? blue shirts are BULLSHIT. Here’s a weird swerve at some actor to prove my point.

i can’t believe i bothered reading this.