Accurate representative of an overaged frat bro feeling entitled to pee on a dude’s wall, because the people there seem poor.

As I said yesterday, the only thing that would make this story more of a train wreck would be if Hope Solo was in on the whole caper with the swimmers all along.

+1 Bravo, sir

You made my day. Thank you.

+1 I give you this with my head hung in accepting shame

A bronzed god with silver hair issues forth a golden shower.

Trump will probably name him as his first choice for Ambassador to Brazil before the week is over.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

Well, Lochte might not be a good representative of America, but at least he’s an accurate one.

That’s awesome for her and Puerto Rico, but I wish they’d decide if they’re in or out. I’d be perfectly happy with Puerto Rico either as a state or an independent country, but especially with the federal government bailing them out, the current situation seems like the worst of both worlds.

Even if he’s not hovering, that’s gonna be an impressive “Shoot Me Here” sign blasting out the back!

If you’re hovering in the hot zone, you deserve to get shot down.

More importantly, here’s what $150M of stealth technology looks like to a $60K MANPAD…

Wait Sweden ISN’T in the Netherlands??? I wish we’d had Common Core Geography when I was in school...

What a coward.

“I would rather be thrown clear.” — many idiots

My friend’s uncle’s cousin’s girlfriend was killed by a seat belt.

If you don’t wear a seat-belt while riding in an aluminum tube traveling through the atmosphere at 550MPH, you are f’ing stupid.

I am so proud to give you the first of many stars.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...