I admit, I got Poe's Law-ed a little bit, there :-P

If it exists, there is some dude, somewhere, who jacks off to it. Hence Rule 34.

So I literally just discovered this blog, and started reading, thinking, "this is pretty cool, but all I really want to know right now is how to score some weed." Ask and ye shall receive!

Well, I do live in a pretty hipster-y college town, so maybe that's part of it.

No they're not, because they always end up wearing them halfway down their asses (presumably, to avoid crushing dem huevos), which creates a flat, undifferentiated expanse of assthigh on even the most bubble-butted young stag.

Ah. Ew.

Did you date my dad? My dad did that shit fucking constantly when I was a kid. He once got "assaulted and raped" while "jogging" and that's why he wasn't home for two days. Yeah, turns out he was doing a bunch of blow in a shitty motel with a couple of hookers.

I dunno, if he was even remotely cute, 16-year-old me would've been like, "you know what? Okay."

There's also the time my (now ex-) husband tried to kill me while he was fucked up on a bunch of pills (at least 5 mg of Klonopin, at least 30 mg of Ambien, and I think 60 mg of oxycodone), and to this day he insists it wasn't his fault because he was really, *really* high.

Ooh, I just remembered one. So when I was still living at my parents' place, we had this piano that was broken all to shit because my parents were nowhere near functioning human beings (in fact, they still kind of aren't, but my dad at least developed the ability to get things done beyond basic survival, to a degree).…

"Might as well let the door hit you in the ass, 'cause it's the only action you're getting" made me ugly-laugh.

Well, it's usually safe for the first baby, and often only a little dangerous for the second, but I admit that's just nitpicking.

Things I see:

I'm glad at least one of you thinks the "thank you for your service" thing is weird, because I always thought it was weird, and I always feel super awkward for everyone involved. Even if there's a reason for it, like how, last November, I was seeing this guy who was an Afghanistan vet, and on Veterans' Day, all his…

Jesus. I daresay, though, on the list of reasons to murder your kid, ranked by validity, that's pretty close to the top.

Well, okay, restaurant chocolate desserts are pretty much always gonna be non-vegan, and if you're a vegan and it's not at least a vegetarian restaurant, you're probably better off just not bothering with dessert, but if you're just buying a chocolate bar at the store, the chances of a bar of dark chocolate that costs…

I am going to attempt to proceed very delicately, since you're clearly hurting, but if I compound that hurt, I apologize in advance.

Lol, the backstory makes it even better! I've always envied women who give out BJs like handshakes.

Kinja apparently ate my comment, but the gist of it was that I've read about a new(-er; this was probably published a decade ago) process for creating diamonds in a lab that even a jeweler can't tell from the real thing except possibly that it's *too* perfect. But I don't know if that panned out from a market…

Give back the stone, sell the setting for scrap. That's what I'd do, anyway.