Beshine, that's not what medicine balls are for, NO BESHINE STAHP!

"Imagine walking around all day with two Bichon Frises strapped to your chest. Such is the plight of Beshine."

How does she drive? Can she even get her arms around those things, let alone see well enough around them to do so????

I dont like what she has done, but the "poor taxpayers" argument often annoys me. We are paying lots more taxes for things which are *seriously* awful.

20 lbs apiece?! Yikes! Can't they make them hollow, or hasn't plastic surgery progressed to incorporating balloon technology? Even better, helium-filled! That would keep them perky and actually help avoid back pain.

Careful, I hear too much pleasure can sometimes cause ceasars.

Now you made me feel like a jerk.

Back in high school I volunteered at my local zoo, and they had a couple of silkie chickens that roamed around in the employees-only areas of the zoo. I believe they had them to care for abandoned eggs and chicks on occasion. For some reason, silkies make really good foster mothers for other birds. This is a silkie:

A purring dinosaur? That's creepy of a different level.

Good to see humans and chickens getting along.... unlike normal

If you really want to make the chicken better, use some of this therapeutic massage oil.

My dog does small grunty oinks.

Oh shut up. Your post is the Ted Cruz of Kinja.

'Glitter is Obamacare for arts and crafts. Do we really need art class to work at the speed of government?!?!'

What the hell is that supposed to mean? What does a persons sexual preference have to do with glitter? Go home....you're an idiot and hopefully drunk which is still no excuse for making such a moronic statement. Go home!

For what it's worth, I'm gay and I fucking hate glitter, especially glitter on greeting cards. Hate them.

I have to admit, sending this to someone sounds pretty cruel.

I'm gonna take a wild guess that you like Adam Sandler movies.

Like...Post-2000 Adam Sandler movies.

You have at least three of them on your shelf right now.

Except, the bomb is half the cost!

Anyone got Harry Reid or Ted Cruz's addresses handy?