This is a bunch of horseshit.

My face is going to age gracefully like a well-worn baseball glove. Like Robert Redford. I’m pretty sure he’d drink Bay Rum before putting any of this nonsense on his face.

Or, he’s a first ballot Hall of Famer because he doesn’t swing at balls off the plate, has three rings and murders the shit-stripers.

If only they had drug testing in MLB.

Can we assume that just as the NL doesn’t allow designated hitters, a North Carolina team would ban all switch-hitting?

Since you’ve said you don’t use Uber, why should anyone care about your opinion as a non-user? And since you’re anal enough to sit there and give a response to every single point against you, with your “I don’t give a shit attitude” seeping through the keyboard for all to see, I reserve the right to disregard your…

Give that man a HI V.

Because this is the NBA, there must be a third step.

It must be so miserable being you.

I’m surprised this isn’t already being done. I assumed Uber/Lyft rates were similar to Taxis where you pay based on mileage+time standing still.

I completely disagree. That’s not even close to being true (I mean, come on... the Cummings/Moncrief/Sikma Bucks being able to hang with today’s best teams?). But more importantly, how could you leave the Price/Daugherty/Nance Cavs teams off of that list?

Nah.

If Jordan sat out a game in the playoffs, the 95-96 Bulls would have won by 37. That’s how much better Jordan is than Curry.

I heard Stephen sat out because he thought it would be in poor taste to rain 3s on Houston tonight.

Oh, you’re one of those people. I will, without fail, kick you out of my seat.

You are the reason it takes twice as long to board an aircraft than it should. Thanks for making life a little more miserable for the rest of us.

There's a 67% chance you are correct!

That’s not true. LASIK is most commonly used to treat myopia (nearsightedness), but can also be used to treat presbyopia (farsightedness) and astigmatism (irregularly shaped cornea) to varying degrees.

You dont really know what youre talking about, do you, pal?

Do you really believe the US military are pussies? Or are you putting this on Obama and somehow imagining him being directly involved in the decision not to fire? Discretion is the better part of valor.

Wow, look at all of those sparkling stars you don’t have. That’s impressive.