Hearing about a couple named Candi and Jimbo getting divorced because they’re Seminoles but she slept with a Gator is the most Floridian story ever written.

We’ll give you the first game of conference play. I’m still smiling over this:

I’m a dinosaur truther. The truth is that dinosaurs are fucking awesome.

A one loss, 14 and 2 season, would still be pretty impressive.

It’s not enough that Kirk Cousins took RG3’s job, now he’s rubbing it in by taking bad knees as well?

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

Are you kidding me.

Wow time sure does fly. I remember sitting on my couch, young, unmarried, jobless watching him win the Heisman. Now 18 years, 7 pro bowls, a Super bowl ring later, I’m sitting on my couch, old, unmarried, jobless, reading about his retirement. Life sure does come at you fast.

Wonderful Kinja.

ODB is a big baby, jesus.

Honorable Mention:

You forgot one. The best spoiler-free line isn’t really line, but rather a ‘thumbs up’.

What a teaching moment! That kid will ALWAYS remember that night he didn’t get paid for being in a shoe commercial.

And we’ll never see the suit that Ray Lewis wore during last night’s pregame again.

Yup, doesn’t look like a douche at all.

Well, in all fairness, how else would you except your trophy for biggest douche?

How many thinkpieces would there be if, say, Jameis Winston took a trophy that way?

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."