The sandwich on the right looks sad. Worth maybe $3-$4. I’d prefer the messy vag sammich. Now there’s some substance!

I don’t understand. Not trying to just be one of those “can’t be fooled” jerks, but I honestly never saw an illusion. It’s perplexing me how anyone is seeing an illusion. I am trying to see it and all I ever saw was the cigar. Is this post just trolling poor saps like myself?

This is something I’d heard about growing up in Northwest GA from my grandmother. She always complained about my grandfather threatening to spend all of the family’s income on the pinball machine near their house. This didn’t make sense to me as a child enjoying playing The Simpsons pinball machine at the local…

I’m honestly confused by this list. While most of these bands may not see the same popularity they once did (because music changes constantly in that is becoming less and less unique), some of these bands still make music, and good music at that. Several still tour and play large festivals. This sounds more like a,…

I bet my close friend (who is, I realize now, much smarter and more realistic than myself) in 2009 when thinks were looking fairly nice for the Falcons, that Matty and Roddy and Mikey and the gang would win a Super Bowl within the next three seasons. Horribly drunk as well, he took this safe bet. Fast forward to 2012…

We’re all still upset about the Craggs fiasco man. That’s still no excuse to troll so hard before we’ve even had lunch.

As a Hawks fan, I’m truly going to miss Carroll, but glad he’s found his spot in the NBA and is getting paid. But hey, we’re getting Splitter!...right...ri*breaks into tears*

It feels as though the majority of you Deadspin staffers are airing your grievances today. After doing a quick sweep of today’s responses to last night’s finals, the most common HOT TOPICs I’m seeing are LeBron, undeserved, and butthurt. Criminy I had no idea you boys were such ‘Bron bros. Green ended up making a huge…

Hey, this is quality stuff! I was just thinking that I needed yet another media outlet to bray about James and how this series really didn’t mean anything other than let’s watch LeBron’s legacy further unfold! Offensive hijacking at its finest!...Warriors won. They deserved to win. Deal with it.

Or, you know, in typical Lebron fashion, front hard!...then proceed to continue being said “pussy-ass bitch.”

Yay! More ATL hate from Deadspin! Because you know who thrills the fans like no other throughout the ages? D.C. sports teams. Keep up the good work trolls.

For the child who can’t be bothered to show affection for their mother unit the rest of the calendar year and needs their corporate overlords to dictate when they should spend more money on useless items to try and make up for those personal failings: Mother’s Day!

"The Badgers are hoping to return to the Final Four, if not further, behind an all-around threat who looks like a burnt-out super senior. What's not to love?"

I believe mystery eaters-of-food-on-the-can-at-work people exist. I am certain my office has one. There's always one empty vending package (chips, cookies, crackers, etc.) left directly next to the throne daily at work. It doesn't really disgust me, but is the subject of much disgusted discussion among my coworkers. I…

Also unsure, but the first thing that came to my mind with the Pulp Fiction one was the red dot Vincent draws on Mia's chest for the adrenaline shot.

I miss the Bushido Blade series, too. And no, not Kengo. Bushido Bladeuru!

"Meh, the Hawks are a good team, but groan! Whine, piss, moan, Lebron, this sucks!"

I immediately gave my money over to those I then owed and switched the channel to Cartoon Network to try and forget. Fuck Darrell Bevell. Fuck Petey the Penguin. Fuck Hybrid Wilson. I don't even care about the SeaCocks, but...just...why could you let the Patriots win again? You've done your nation a disservice.

I couldn't agree with this more. The last time I was on Craigslist was one year ago when my mother told me to look at a bookcase she found. It felt awkward entering the website; akin to a particular moment when a high school me was trying to impress an older girl. I was doing so by volunteering alongside her to help…

I disagree. To truly measure one snack's overall appeal versatility must be considered. Keep your opinions to yourself and be sure not sway people with their specific favorite tastes, but quietly accept how much more there is in the world being a tortilla chip over the everyday grind that is popcorn life.