The pants-wetting analogy is gold. Here’s another:

I can’t believe people are that dense. Wait, I do believe it. My favourite thing to read these days is, “END THE LOCKDOWN! The infection and death numbers are low!” Hey genius, you ever think that the reason they’re low is BECAUSE of the lockdown?

Remember: when they go Lowbacca, we go High Republic.

Or just have Swinton play Jareth.

Aww man, I can’t wait to hear why that one Jedi Wookie is wearing clothes, unlike every Wookie we’ve ever seen until now.

We know things aren’t normal right now and you’re probably not thinking about us but we are thinking about YOU and reminding you to please continue to give us money whenever you are allowed to by the federal and or state governments. We hope you your family are staying safe, and remember we are all in this together!

Is it because of the COVID-19 pandemic? It’s probably because of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s hard to tell because of the trite, tired, stupid euphemisms, but it’s probably due to the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic.

Id rather be choking from coronavirus than from being smothered by a tyrannical government. 

That is not how social contract theory works.

This comment combined with your username is just *chef’s kiss*

I’m a PATRIOT so I am loading the family in the car and heading to Universal, then to Ft. Lauderdale to leave on a 10 day cruise. No vires can keep me down.

This whole time Zack’s claimed that the movie was done and actually exists, but today says “we still have some work to do” before the movie comes out... NEXT year. This is truly the Chinese Democracy of superhero movies.

I prefer “tactical cosplay” cause not a one of those simpletons understands the concept of patriotism in any way.

There’s been lots of GI Joe cosplay at state capitol buildings recently

Umm... umm... No, they’re actually referring to a different tech billionaire who existed in the Trek universe, the French magnate Ille Enmusque. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

I guess they could turn on their TVs...

I mean, considering that asymptotic carriers means you could not have a fever and still have the virus and having a fever doesn’t indicate you have COVID-19 specifically (you could just have the flu or it could just be a hot fucking day), this is kind of useless.

The U.S. federal government could do something useful, like require people to wear masks during flights (with exceptions as currently understood), but that seems to conflict with the example the President is setting.

I had to both self-edit and also cut the submitted article for length, because there were just so many things. For the Moon and Mars I did notice that, but I assumed that their bases have artificial gravity, but maybe that is too heavy or takes too much energy for a ship. For the message thing, they say he has to wait…

I feel like what this article gets wrong about what Ad Astra gets wrong is assuming the technology they have in the “near future” is the same as what we have now. There are plenty of things the movie got wrong in terms of basic physics, though: