Go to r/The_Donald for like 5 minutes. You won’t want to go near your computer for days.

Prior to 2016, I would have asked, “Are people really that xenophobic?!”

My coworkers get angry when I use hand lotion. I’d get lynched if I used one of these at work.

My coworkers get angry when I use hand lotion. I’d get lynched if I used one of these at work.

A word of warning about the HELOC:

President Hermoine Granger. Come on America. Make it happen.

Yeah, but when you want the best, buy American!

We taught both our kids sign language as infants and they had no speech delays. In fact, they’re much more articulate than their peers. (That last part may have more to do with Dad being a voice actor and how we never used “baby talk” in the house).

The Republican party is nothing but whores, thieves, and con men. Of course, that’s a bit harsh to whores, thieves, and con men, but there you go.

My audiobook loving self laughs at your quaint, primitive ways.

I do.

Got a functioning liver and kidneys? Congratulations, you can fucking detox. Anything else is snake oil.

Someone was clearly sleeping through the movie only to wake and exclaim, “Space horseys!!!”

In uncertain times, it’s always nice to see Ken Buck continuing to embarrass Colorado. Sadly, his constituents are poorly educated, cousin-fucking morons that cheer on his stupid behavior.

I prefer “’Sup, bitches?!”

But that’s just me.

We also learned that Impeachment (or the threat of it) does nothing to curtail tantrums.

As long as you Checkout with a browser on Smile, you can shop and add-to-cart with app.

I do this, but my method is get a mouthful of water, bend over, then swallow. Works like a charm.

Decoy packages with explosive dye packs is not an option?

I don’t do the tea (my wife does, however, since she’s a singer), but I live on menthol drops and a metric tonne of water when I have a cold. I notice when I stop drinking, my nose clogs up.

Grey’s Law: “Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.”