You can get fined. We’ve had to schlep over to my In-Laws to shovel their sidewalks while they were out-of-town.

I started cutting back on my calories and did see a marked change. The first few days however, I (and my coworkers) realized I get hangry as fuck. So watch out for that.

Whoa. Slow down there Milton Friedman.

That’s the law, actually.

That reminds me...I need to go spend some money at Comedy Works.

Term limits are a crutch for a lazy, uninformed electorate. We have them all over the place (President, governors, mayors, etc). They solve nothing. Stop trotting out this tired meme and get to work finding (and voting for) candidates you’d want to hold the office for more than a few terms.

Wait...there are schools with nurses in them? Our district cut them years ago for budget reasons.

My kids got iTunes cards for Christmas (no one in our house has an Apple device). I think I’m just going to give the kids cash for the cards and re-gift them to someone sucked into the Apple ecosystem.

I will buy that book. I won’t read it, but I will reward the author and publishing company for simply putting it on the shelves.

We keep saying that...then he goes and shits the bed even harder, wetter, and louder. This stupidity exhausts me.

You’d think the “tea spoon” part would be a dead give away that it’s a joke, but no.

Buying a Tablo + Lifetime service and then Amazon comes out with their own DVR product that would fit into our tech ecosystem better.

There is nothing honorable about Fuji apples. Those things are bland applesauce wrapped in a skin.

iTunes? Hard pass. Even if they gave away 100 audiobooks, I wouldn’t be interested. Besides, there are decent versions of all these audiobooks on LibriVox.

Friend: How do I get some sleep with a new baby in the house.

Check for package deals from Disney itself, but also AAA and Costco. Also, if traveling off-peak, see if Disney Dining is included (or reduced) as part of the deal. You’ll save a ton that way.

Careful with those coasters. They’re $6 + $10 shipping (I hate that back-door markup shit).

Careful with those coasters. They’re $6 + $10 shipping (I hate that back-door markup shit).

That’s not a party. That’s a kidnapping.

We’re a publicly traded company, so no parties of any kind (the shareholders don’t like to see their money ‘wasted’ on these kinds of frivolities). We do, however, get an hour to bring in our own food for a potluck that we can take back to our desks to eat.