If you bought one of these, much like becoming a contestant on The Bachelor, “...for the right reasons...”, it was awesome. I lived in a very large city, had to regularly transport bulky, sometimes wet, often dirty shit all over the place and the Element was fantastic. You could park it, hose it out, beat the shit out…

The root of many a PNW traffic problem can be found in a VW minibus. In, because some stoned kid romanticized one of the single shittiest cars ever and was, thanks to laws against road salting, able to buy one. Or, some old stoner who gives not a shit that the thing can do 10-15 mph uphill and goes 0-30 in about 10…

Any VW collector’s wealth is transient, at best. Poor life choices.

Some? What, a few 60-day old vehicles?

...or “Love Hurts” or “You Make Me Feel Brand New”...

Alfa-Romeo Stelvio. 2018. Ridiculous.

I think we should get one thing out of the way...these things were slow and handle poorly compared to today’s cars. Before buyers’ appetites changed, cruisers like this were extremely popular. Speed limits were capped at 55mph, so a comfortable ride was a premier consideration when buying any car.

I’m sure that’s exactly the language they used, too. “Sexual get-together. With cocaine.” Sure.

It’s a scam. I worked in risk management for a company who owned “riverboat” casinos. Even though the facilities were “technically” boats, the effort necessary to prove that these buildings could float and move was substantial. Nonetheless, the various states and municipalities agreed to the scam in exchange for the…

Given that it’s a Land Rover, you probably have a problem with the turn signal...

It’s an electronic world, and when the electronics die in a vehicle, that vehicle becomes an expensive lawn ornament. And, c’mon, I don’t know anyone who bought any Rover product since the turn of the century who hasn’t had brake/brake sensor problems. Or suspension problems. Or exhaust problems. Or oil problems and…

True...but my anecdote isn’t supporting a wholly unreasonable position (you know, like, “Land Rovers are very reliable vehicles. Mine has been great.”).

The guy really said it. My mind was blown, in part because I have no idea how he got what must be his HUGE balls into his trousers. 

Land Rover must employ several full-time hypnotists to haunt the wealthy neighborhoods of North America. There is no better explanation for the perseverance of the brand because those cars suck, period, and there is no way for a person who knows one or more Land Rover owners to avoid hearing horror stories.

YES

I was 50 years old when I bought my first automatic car. I would cheerfully give this comment 900 stars - I have lived in the Northeast Metro corridor and the PNW and I would have had so much more happiness in my life had I owned an automatic.

The only explanation I have for the seller’s asking price and optimism is that he had to have passed through many states where recreational cannabis has been legalized.

I think you misunderstand how tornadoes work. He was fucked from the get-go. He didn’t make the worst decision, given what he was looking at; if you’ve ever been surprised by a tornado, it’s a terrifying experience.

The donor can pay the tax. I suspect the donor(s) will.

Whoever buys it is going to buy it four times.