“Bill de Blasio Contemplates Adorably Disastrous and Futile Presidential Bid”

Pelosi should tell Trump that she’s scheduling a press conference in the East Room of the WH later today where she will announce that he can, you know, eat shit.

Papa John’s is ass. I don’t just say that because the former owner had shitty politics and appears to be a truly loathsome piece of shit. I say that because their “pizza” is inedible fucking garbage. Papa John’s is so bad that it is the only “pizza” that I have ever encountered that actually tastes worse when you’re…

The (truly excellent) newspaper you’re quoting and linking to is the JACKSON Free Press. You somehow managed to fucking blow that one...twice. Nice work. 

And...here we go. A voter noticed a massive vulnerability in the very voter registration system that Kemp himself is supposed to secure, and notified some lawyers that are involved in litigation against Kemp regarding his previous well-documented fuckery with the voter registration rolls. Those lawyers then notified…

Here’s the deal. It’s entirely likely that neither no one gets to 50% and that there will be a runoff. If that happens, then Kemp almost certainly can’t “no comment on an ongoing investigation” this shit any longer. He’ll have to put up or shut up. When it is inevitably revealed that this was all complete fucking…

Look, 800,000 people who voted early this cycle in GA did not vote at all in 2014. GA is already has already seen 120% of the total turnout from that cycle before election day itself.

From a good friend:

“Can we get an ‘edit’ button?”

One of these days, a day that is definitely not today, I would just love to see Schumer and most of the rest of the Senate Dems make it all the way to school with their lunch money still in their pockets.

I really like Tish James. She was my City Councilwoman for many years and she’s been a fantastic Public Advocate. She’s smart as hell and fucking fierce. I’ve never seen that woman back down from anyone or anything...until Cuomo told her to stay away from the WFP line or he’d fucking destroy her. Tish and WFP go way…

There’s an honest to god left/progressive wing of the NY state Senate Dems now. That’s huge in and of itself. But the IDC-GOP Franken-majority is also fucking toast. That shit is straight up cancelled. The GOP still has Brooklyn “Democrat” Simcha Felder, but it won’t matter. They’ll lose a few more seats this…

This image needs to be the default image used for all Gruden content from now on. Like, this needs to be a law. 

Seriously, this shit is fucking hilarious. 

I really like Chris at the helm on weekends. Stuff like this shit right here is why:

I’m so old that I can remember when one of the only two major political parties our country allows ourselves to even have, marketed itself with the utterly meaningless slogan “culture of life.” It was that one party that now controls all three branches of the federal government as well as a majority of the state…

Max shows you how it’s done.

News you can use.

Which way did Justice Garland vote?

I just want to apologize, sincerely and without reservation, to Deadspin, Gizmodo Media Group, and to all the hardworking (and righteously unionized!) employees therein.