I’m going with “sketchy edibles.”

I think you’re a fine writer, Hamilton. I really do. But “Jaguars Junction” is bad. You should stop.

The definitive canonical version of the playground version of Jingle Bells appears on the only Christmas record that anyone need ever own, the only Christmas record that matters or will ever matter, Horny Holidays by the honorable Mojo Nixon and his Toadliquors. Listen for yourself as we settle this once and for all.…

It’s pretty obvious that Trump doesn’t realize that the Pakistanis are scary Mooslims. Honestly, I wonder if he could even point to Pakistan on a map if asked to do so. I wonder if he could even point to the right continent.

Mike Stoops, Bob’s kid, makes $900,000 a year.

It failed because it just wasn’t very good. It failed because it mostly sucked. It would have been just as listless live.

Never ceases to amaze me how many of those constantly screaming about “tyranny” seem to actually really dig some fucking tyranny when it suits them.

Pretty sure Lucy’s bones aren’t actually 13.2 million years old. You’re off by, uh, ya know, 10 million years.

And let’s not forget Gunga Din. And no, this paean to outright slavery is not saved by its finale.

“No we can’t,” yet again.

This nonsense, as they say, is all my balls. First, what the fucking fuck with the microwave, you sad-sack philistine? I blame your parents. Second, you‘re missing out on the benefits of cooking all the good stuff together.

Every day that passes with a Democratic Party led by someone eager to side with vampire scum like the payday lenders is another day the Democratic Party reveals itself to be largely full of shit. In an election year where Democrats are warning voters that handing Republicans even more power will be bad for ordinary…

Totes McGoats. And you would, too. Don’t even front.

Thanks for nothing, Bijoux.

But of course, Reagan didn’t nuke Tehran. He decided to sell them very potent missiles instead.

"The Other Final" isn't just one of my favorite sports movies, nor even one of my favorite documentaries. It's actually one of my favorite films of all time. Hard as hell to watch, which is weird because it's so fucking great, but totally worth your time. Really excellent film.