This is very cool. Chevy Chase would have walked in the room and tried to blow everyone, Bill is the man

As a husband with no kids, I cannot relate to any of these things. But damn if this article wasn't entertaining as hell. I can only imagine...Thank you, Drew, for making my wife and I's decision to not have kids feel like the right one!

Oh yes, Traction Park. A rite of passage for Tri-State Area kids.

Yes, and perhaps you have heard that English language use and context has shifted somewhat in the more than 300 years since that was written.

I was gonna say the exact same thing, spitting image.

Ziggy Sobotka was released from prison?

Oh, come on. WAY more people than that were offended. But, at the sight of an angry black man, I'm sure a good number of them instinctively sealed themselves in underground bunkers with an arsenal of weapons. I guarantee there will be a flood of complaints to the FCC in 35 years when those bunkers automatically open.

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

Nothin at all...nothin at all...

Stupid sexy Flanders!

Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all

Just yesterday, Colin Cowherd in making a point that hard hits should be a thing of the past in the NFL because football is more exciting when Aaron Rodgers is healthy and throwing to a healthy receiving corps, lamented the fact that Brady does not have Gronk and Hernandez to throw to.

Nice to see the racists came out to play on Deadspin tonight.

I wish it was cold enough for Joe Buck's vocal cords to freeze....omg Joe just suck Troy's dick already and get it over with. Embarrassing.

That's about 27 more voice actors than Bethesda employs....

Eh, the defense carried them for so many years while the offense was clown shoes, I can't be mad. They might have been marginally better than awful w/out all the injuries.

Seriously. Those offensive numbers for the Bears make me even angrier at their shitty, shitty defense.

I would be interested in seeing the cumulative totals in this format against the Bears. Our defense was just fucking brutal this year.

If you accept the premise that you need QB play of a certain caliber in order to win a championship (statistically, it is difficult to evaluate this statement), and you believe that there are a limited number (say, under 20) QBs who are capable of playing at that level, then it makes sense to pay a lot of money for…