“The selected families will give $120,000 to the family over the next year.”

It might be considered an improvement on being the Jets QB.

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

So is Stewie saying that he’ll leave the US for a more pure-capitalism based country if Warren were to win?

I have, over the course of my life, known a handful of women who were sexually assaulted in some fashion. And this is just the ones who I knew well enough that they would share something like that, usually years after the fact. None of them reported their assaults to the police. 

No, you don’t want that.

9/11 and Columbine are the two biggest tragedies of the past 20 years, because we learned all the wrong lessons from them 

The Pittsburgh Irates

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

The reason real he and Ben Roethlisberger didn’t get along was because they were too similar.

Steelers fans like him again now

This could almost be a campaign ad for her. Cramer doesn’t realize that CEOs and big banks and corporations are hugely unpopular in anything but the most abstract terms. People like the abstract idea of capitalism, they don’t like the reality, and the number of people who plan their votes based on who is friendliest…

A Biden adviser says he’ll make the case at this week’s debate that Democrats need a nominee who can offer “more than plans”

White Conservatives: This is the way it is! If you don’t like it, start your own college!

This is going to be hardest on Bristol, Track, Twig, Smock, Groot, Krunk, Willow, Slider, Stub, Twiddle, Piper, Fluff, Carat, Keg, Snuggle, Bop, Rice and Spoit.

The same place as anyone down on their luck with nothing left to lose, VEGAS BABY.

Two sentences that capture exactly how impractical these ideas are.

The name’s Lanley. Lyle Lanley...I’ve sold hyperloops to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!

His son could tell you that unhealthy scratches are worse.

To the Hyperloopist, the past is failure, reality is a mistake, and the future is success.