There is a Wawa at the end of my block. It’s 392 feet from my house! So you know what I say? Data breach, schmata breach.  I’m gettin’ a hoagie.

I understand that Emma Watson has a massive amount of pull and star power because of Harry Potter and her amazing human rights work, but holy shit, girl. CANNOT. ACT.

I’m pretty sure it’s a small bit in the Gumbie cat song:

Nope. Not a vegan. But thanks for playing.

See also: The entire GOP.

A: the person in question thought it was hilarious

WHO DIED?

*IMMORTAL COMBAT

His dog is cute, too. :)

Your boyfriend sounds very fit. Is he single?

Oh, shut up. 

WHERE IS THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS?!?????

My god. It’s full of stars!

You know that you can get a Whopper - Impossibile or otherwise - WITHOUT cheese or mayo, right? Neither of those is an ingredient.

To be fair, everything that Jim Jordan says IS fart sounds.

A: this is awesome!

ME. 

I, too, am a happy-delicious-food dancer.

I was born and raised in Italy, and this is how we eat pizza.

When my (now ex) husband was incarcerated, I would transcribe - in fountain pen - entire books to him. I couldn’t afford to have physical books (most of which were banned) sent to him, so that’s what I did to keep us closer.