I was legit TRAUMATIZED by “The Last Unicorn” when I was a kid. I hear ya.

Anyone else seeing shades of Klaus Nomi in that header pic of Paulson?

I will never stop saying this:  fuck you, Betsy DeVos.

I am just here to say that I appreciate all of you and your commitment to these godawful puns.

I never had much of an opinion about Jennifer Garner (aside from thinking she was pretty and being irrationally envious of her getting to kiss Mark Ruffalo), but I’m starting to think that she is an amazing mother.

Welp, off to go shower forever.

Words can not adequately express how disappointed I am that only 3 people in the comments got that reference.

:D :D :D

YEP.

Pssst: is this “one minute of moderate excessive” supposed to read “one minute of moderate exercise?”
 

I actually have a soft spot in my heart for Pete Davidson, so it’s rare that I criticize, but honey, get the gum out of your mouth. You are chewing like a horse.

Two things:

Actual Italian here:  can confirm.

Oooh, this is fun!  Another, please!

I currently have eight dogs. In my life, I’ve had and fostered literally multiple dozens of dogs, and not once have I brought one to a dining establishment, nor have I made poo-poo eyes bc a dog wasn’t allowed at a restaurant. Why? Bc I also used to work in food service, and know what a nightmare animals around food…

Let’s go with “pretty.”

You really should have gotten more stars for this comment. 

“swathes of cloth, the broad leather belt (cummerbund?),”

...can I go with you? I cook really well. I can earn my keep. 

I can only repeat what has already been said so succinctly before me: