Try harder. That’s not even a 2 on a 1-10 funny/clever scale.

I bet that you think you are clever. I also bet that anyone who knows you disagrees.

HERP-A-DERP-DERP.

Um. Many of us stopped eating meat because of the ethical issues around them. And we do appreciate a good meat sub (see: Beyond Burger or Impossible Burger) once in a while. Not all of us, but many of us.

vegans don’t mind you using meat based stocks in soups and sauces as long as you don’t tell them.

One of the reasons that pro-veg documentaries push the meat substitutes is that they are primarily aimed at non-veggies who might convert. And it’s WAAAAAAYYYY easier to change up your entire eating life when there are things that ease you into a new way of eating that don’t overly-restrict you or what you’ve spent a…

*yawn*

(Pssst: we all know you’re full of shit.)

It’s one fucking (hypothetical) meal. Do you demand satisfaction of your idiotic “dietary needs” every time you eat a meal provided by someone else? No, you do not. So shut the eff up and quit your lazy-ass trolling.

HERP DERP I HAVE NO ETHICAL FOOD CHOICES SO I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS THAT DON’T AFFECT ME

The difference is that, generally, children don’t live in chattels, in a constant state of terror, screaming as they go, fighting tooth and nail, to their deaths. And kids also don’t usually have their own terrified children torn from them, usually too early, just so that they can be kept in a constant state of…

No. Also, anyone remotely veg has heard this tired-ass argument. So also, yawn.

In a sea of really stupid hot takes, yours may be the most stupid.

Awww. Whatssa matter, honey? Somebody pee-pee in your Cheerios again?

I’ve lost a kid, too. I hear you, and I know. <3

I have a lot of experience in this area, as I am the mother of a child who was killed. If you want to ask me, I am happy to answer.

...do you not have access to a ziploc baggie?

...except that, with each viewing, money goes to a filthy rich, bigoted, racist asshole woman, who not only voted for Trump, but shits all over women on Twitter whenever she can, and who once HA HA JOKINGLY posed as a female Hitler, eating ‘burnt Jew cookies.’

Oh, so you ARE me! High-five, us!

I, too, have long blue hair, but used to rock the (now named) undercut back in the day. Are you me?