My kids like to mix french and italian dressing (Kids, what kind of dressing do you want on your salad? Children in unison: “Both!”) And my wife likes to put french dressing on her pizza. I am living with and raising weirdos.

Yes, because it was a Jell-o SALAD. It had grapes and maybe diced celery inside it. But all my elementary school aged brain saw was Jello and a big dollop of whitestuff. Anyway, i learned a valuable lesson that day, but I still cannot eat mayo except as a binder or something where its basically hidden by other…

YES! That was it. I knew it was one of those middling chains, but i couldn’t remember which one.

Is it sweet? because if it’s not sweet like real frosting, you are going to be in for some trouble and quite possible could scar a child for life with this shit.

This is my favorite genre of article on these Former Gawker blogs. This fits in nicely with the Best Restaurant in New Yorks and the one about Applebee’s all you can eat whatever. So i’m looking forward to reading more about you exploring your new neighborhood.

He was so depressed that Tasha Yar fell into some goo, he couldn't bring himself to scrape his face 

Must be. Did Birdy and the Fry Guys molest some kids or something?

Sounds like you took her to a Whole Foods

...back in the day—and this is just purely honest, because my politics have changed and whatnot—but, every birthday, I would drop everything and get a Big Mac.

Seems to me like one of those horses in Guys picture up there should be a Donkey.

He gave the money because his daddy’s name is already on a bunch of campus buildings and he wanted one with his name on it. AND, he thought he could dictate something about the curriculum, which he probably would have been able to do, if he wasn’t such a heavy handed dick.

I haven’t been to TB is a long time, but it came to my attention this week that they no longer make the MexiMelt, and THIS IS A TRAVESTY AND MUST BE CORRECTED!

Honey Mustard if you need a moistener

For me it’s about not trusting the quality of the tomato at the restaurant. I like a nice farmers market tomato, but the mealy underripe/overripe/falsely ripe tomato i get from Wendy’s? No thank you. Just leave it off please.

Are you a prison guard? What kind of work do you do that you cannot leave for lunch. Even when i worked in a zipper factory, I got manditory lunch breaks, and if there was enough time you could leave the premises for lunch.

Colin Quinn could use the paycheck, i’m sure.

If you are afraid to go by yourself, get a group up. Ask some pals first thing in the morning.

Also, if you’re the type of person who maybe interjects to much during company meetings, take a lollypop with you and eat that during the meeting so maybe you keep your mouth shut.

My advice to those who wish to receive it:

Maybe not, but even in the deep south where i live, you will occasionally get one in your change. (More likely to be a dime, though honestly)