No, sails don’t fall into the ocean when the wind dies to become several hundred pounds of wet nonsense you have to deal with.

HaHa! I sometimes gasp in traffic when I see something. Wife lets out an audible groan to remind me that I don’t need to tell her about that uncommon/rare/cool/incredibly fast car that I just saw.

I’m about an hour and a half from the factory. My count is at 3 car carriers, one of which only had 2 trucks on it in seemingly random locations for... reasons?

In other words, Rivian confirmed that it is an automaker in 2021.

I grew up near a tiny marina. My sister and I would walk to it during the summer and hang out. There was an ancient woman in the area that had a giant boat in the front yard that we walked by to the marine. The Boat looked exactly like the Minnow (picture below), including the giant hole.

Someone probably found it on their car and thought it would be funny to put it on your Aurora as a joke to whomever put it on theirs (not knocking the Aurora - they were cool cars).

Aktually, the other interpretation was what spooked me. The possibility that you had gone away to a real job. Like many Jalops ahead of you; Kristen, Andrew, Alanis, Erin, Patrick, Mack Hogan, Alan Smithee, et al.

... and this is why the “tough on crime” mandatory minimum sentences (which always seem to end up equalling “life in prison”, somehow) are simply bad public policy.

Yeah, I also was thrown off by the titling here.

But the engine doesn’t seem seized... so what’s up with the sub-headline?

Remove spark plugs to lessen compression, see if starter spins it then

Ho-lee-sheeeeeit that’s a lot of money for a 17 year old van. 

I personally would rather the high roof model if I were going to go with one of these conversion vans. This is little more than your GM van, upfitted by Explorer, then someone threw some very cheap mud tires on expensive wheels and mounted them up.

It looks like a garbage truck:

If I’m spending 700k, I want an elevator, spiral staircase, or embedded servants to lift me up

Shin-height guardrails on the rooftop lounge (roof with extra patio furniture) plus copious rich-people drink (MGD in glass bottles) sounds like a recipe for sudden millionaire death syndrome (SMIDS)

Jason ‘...is no longer around’ leaves a certain impression, man.

If it somehow used liquid mercury switches then that would be blinker fluid.

But that wouldn’t make it impossible for him to pen a story about 57 year old technology at some future point. It's not like this was too hot a scoop to delay. 

Maybe the real Jason Torchinsky was inside us all along