Naah, I’m going to use the What-If Machine. Machine: what would it look like if Peter M. Smith had dug up the Fry “Shocked” gif?

Or train them to leave them alone. My kids are now 3 and 4.5, and it only took a few times of careful and consistent parenting to make categories of things like remotes, drinking glasses, coins, decorations or candy on the coffee table etc to be off limits.

I just leave mine on a high shelf that the kid can't reach when I'm not using it. But then, I don't watch very much on my actual TV. It's mostly there for video games.

I’m glad they decided to closed-caption themselves for viewers who may be hard of hearing

Is this wrong? Yes.

Just an awesome image of you standing at an old timey washing board, bare-assed, and feverishly scrubbing a single pair of underpants at the end of each day, to respect your wife.

Is it unique and cool in some way? Sure. Is it remotely reasonable to consider as a reliable, relatively affordable year-round daily driver? Not a chance.

If he just wants a cool hobby car to start conversation and drive to the airport once in a while, great, but that’s not at all what he asked for.

I mean, couldn’t *one* of you have given him a reasonable answer?  The only non-troll answer is the Acadia, and he literally said he had no use for an SUV.  I get that there’s a comedy element, but I thought there were supposed to be a few helpful suggestions?

To be honest I’m not sure Airplane! has much of a structure beyond the one borrowed from Zero Hour!, either. And Airplane! is definitely better than Top Secret!, but I think in both cases it’s really the brilliant gags that make them worthwhile classics, more so than anything to do with the plot. Same with Kentucky…

Since Lifehacker is “the ultimate authority on optimizing every aspect of your life”, and in no way a site driving a specific political agenda, could you now run an article showing how readers can HELP government agencies who are working to enforce the laws of this nation, and bring justice to those who have willfully…

Soak for a couple hours. Grill about 20 minutes at 350 or so. Times are very flexible. You could probably soak anywhere from 0.5 to 6 hours. I don’t trim a thing. Just throw it in the sink, then grill, then shuck. It’s not perfect but I can get the silks off an ear in well under a minute even though they are hot.…

Really. I thought you just needed a blanket and a hat...

Unions are like any other organization, only as good as their actions indicate.

I’m regretting this as I type it, but this is a way restaurants can get your butt in the seat and order, then spring the added cost at the last minute. I support paying benefits, but I hate this sneaky crap. Just roll it into menu pricing with a note on the menu.  I’m wondering which MOA place this is, as I very well…

I think it can go to an arbitrator to settle it. Jimmy graham (te/wr) and a few other athletes have fought this before. I’m too lazy to look at all the cases, but off the top of my head the players haven’t done too well and a million bucks maybe isn’t worth it when you add up your expenses and lawyer bills

The best part about this comment is the dude that took it seriously.

I think the OP was being sarcastic...

This is like, the fifteenth most upset I’ve been about living in the burbs

Reminder that here in Georgia there are no Slurpees. It’s an endless hellscape. 

Icees are to Slurpees as Velveeta is to cheese.