“Well, did you bring enough Mercury for everyone?"

Or an affinity for Marvel Comics characters.

If you’re filing a personal injury lawsuit, waiting until near the end of the statute of limitations will often help maximize your recovery.  It’s a lot easier to recover for prior damages (such as medical bills, pain & suffering, etc.) rather than estimating future damages.  So waiting two years means she has two…

O’Hare has Frontera Grill, owned by my main man Rick Bayless. The ultimate airport-related shame of my life occurred a few weeks ago - took public transit to O’Hare, which was slower than usual, security line was longer than usual - basically we’re cutting it close. But we’re so hungry. So my husband gets in line at…

Look, I get it, you love a thing. And it’s weird when the things we love change. And if you deal with the things you love changing this poorly, please for the love of god do not have children, because they change A LOT.

I would suggest that Moore do his inspections with a second fire fighter in uniform.  It won’t stop racist jerks from being racists jerks.  But it would help him to have some back up when this happens.  And he had his ID.  So, he was covered.  This is a real dilemma.  On the one hand, if I saw someone rooting around…

Well based on that picture, they could probably save some money by not lining the walls with fly paper.

before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s remember that he has two brothers that aren’t retiring.

It’s important to remember that the hazard is caused by the tailgating and aggressive following drivers. The left lane rider is an annoyance and should move over to the right lane, but the hazard is created behind him or her.

One that wants to perform a Dribble Axel at the competition.

He’ll always be The Waffler to me.

“What can I do about super-loud kids and their oblivious parents?”

Remember in middle school, when you used a grocey bag to make a book jacket to protect your algebra book? Do that, then don’t stress over it.

“In an altered paranoid state, believing ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”

I could see how this would be difficult for someone so used to going...
*Puts on shades*
unnoticed.

Ball locked! Two more to activate multiball.

That top image makes it look like he’s forcing Jeff Bezos to smell his belly button.

This is all so fucking dumb.

Aw, that’s really nice. And true!

Something is wrong with me, because your comment is the one that made me giggle.