but his character made him that six-tool guy

Future Cardinal player

I preemptively feel bad for whoever his cutoff man will be.

One can only pray to the karmic gods for this all to culminate in an epic, final, hubristic collapse.

I keep thinking how fucking weird this all is. He never had to answer for his bullshit. He never apologized for anything or stopped lying about everything. But to me, the weirdest thing (which is just a statistic fluke at this point) is apparently nothing terrible ever happened to him to make him stop. No one ever…

Hopefully half the country plus at least one more person.

fielders shifted to left field when he batted

Remember when Jordan missed that 3-pointer in 1992? God he sucked.

No worries bro. I'm black and I came up with a slogan for it. The SNT. Standard Negro Tip. I'd say 80-90% of black folks tip like crap. I used to be on a black radio station and people would call in talking about they don't have to tip. Go to the freaking BUFFET you losers!

Hold on.. here's a tear.. nahhhh So you got a bad tip.. WAHHH

i figure slavery provided poor a example for the art of tipping. go figure

Upon hearing that Stephen A. realized the Onion was satire, Skip Bayless immediately started talking about Tim Tebow.

Huh. I think we all learned something here. Stephen A. Smith does not Tweet with caps lock on.

Black people don't tip. I like to think that I'm not a racist and I certainly haven't had any problems with people of any race, but I've been a server, bartender and a delivery boy in college and that's just the way it is. Even hiding behind a computer monitor I feel like a Klan wizard saying it, but I swear to god…

B. Obama

Upon hearing that Stephen A. realized the Onion was satire, Skip Bayless immediately stated that it was in fact a legitimate paper and Smith didn't know what he was talking about.

Scott Van Pelt

When I was 17, he came into a restaurant (Philly area) I was working. Since I was waiting on him, I was liable to stay until 2am until he finished his dinner. $200+ and a bottle of Clicquot (~$110) later, I find an $11 tip waiting for me (not cash). The bastard scampered off with his white-trash woman (probably the…

Stephen. Hands down. Stuart Scott's good.

Who is the more non-hood, whitest acting black guy trying to talk "black"? Stephen A. Smith or Stuart Scott?