I often wonder what these “pro life” people would say if you said “Look, if I have this baby, I can guarantee you that I will have to go on welfare, I will need foodstamps, I will need “entitlements” like state sponsored daycare and medicare, or I could get an abortion and go back to work.” What would they say then?…

I was going to ask if anyone had reported this to Above Top Secret because I bet the theories are juicier than an Alabama tick.

I will venture to say that Richard doesn’t even OWN a t.v.

Every time I read something laced with this much pretentious horseshit I’m forced to dredge up my favorite line from the South Park movie:

I guess I didn’t realize it wasn’t cool to like Yankee Candles but I guess I’ll let my nerd flag fly. They are super expensive but if you go to outlets OR just use the wax melts in a potpourri thingee you get the same awesome smells. I don’t like many of the spring/summer flowery scents, but the Fall and Christmas…

I had to watch it again and that deflation is fantastic. The best part of people falling down is when they try to outrun the fall (or out rollerblade). Like if they keep running, keep that momentum up, they won’t tumble. It’s great.

It’s the ultimate comedy for people like me who see “people falling down” as the pinnacle of good stuff. I can’t get enough of that weird, half deflated jaw chomping as he flies face first into the paint.

We were watching the news the other day and my husband said that while he’s starting to recover from the election and hysteria and horror that followed, he still almost physically flinches every time he hears “President Elect Trump”. It just doesn’t seem possible. STILL.

I like my dick 12 inches long and I expect to be delighted.

Hey. I’m related to Martin Van Buren. He really killed in the mutton chop game.

Can knitters tell me something? I bought a sweater in Frankfurt (I only mention this because it illustrates why I can’t return it or exchange it or demand explanation). I’ll admit it wasn’t the most high quality of sweaters but I needed a cardigan to get through the day and it was around 40.00 euro. It’s a sort of…

And people wonder why I don’t watch/listen to/read ESPN anymore.

I get a lot of shit from my fellow liberal feminist progressive mothers because man, I LOVE CHRISTMAS and I LOVE SANTA and I LOVE EVERYTHING to do with the holidays, and actually only a small percentage of that is gifts. We like to give “experiences” as presents to my daughter...she’s nine and this year she’s getting…

I guess that “swamp” he was draining was the “common sense and science based decisions” swamp.

I’m not sure we’re making fun of her face so much as her slashing her lover with scissors and drawing fucking blood. That shit’s insane. Or is just publishing a picture of her considered in poor taste at this point? (I’m honestly just trying to talk this through because I feel like you do...she obviously has some sort…

I’m really scared. Super scared that next season is just basically going to be The Walking Dead, with little groups of humans hiding and fighting hosts, trying to escape the park all season. Please don’t do that. PLEASE DON’T DO THAT.

I mean, yeah, that’s cute. But I prefer the raccoon who loves potato chips so much he rubs them all over his body before eating them.

HA! It always amazed me how much Picard’s lips thinned out as he aged.

I think I’m mostly sad about this revelation because it means Jimmi Simpson won’t be on the show anymore.

Maybe stop Petitioning To Get The Statue Returned? Maybe stop insisting that the Freeh Report was false? Quit throwing a hissy fit and threatening legal action against the creator of “Joe Knew” t-shirts? Shit like that would be a good start.