Thanks, my office thinks I am insane. Elmo raining blows and being pissed, WTF hilarious.

This is the greatest goddamn story I have ever read and I am sitting in my classroom giggling and my first graders are asking what I am laughing about and I can’t tell them.

Not gonna lie, this tweet is made 100% better by reading in tune with Slam by Onyx.

consider yourself lucky Big Bird wasn’t there

I have no idea if this story is true or not, but I completely believe every bit of it because it’s true to me.

My best friend and I dressed up as Burt and Ernie for halloween about 8 years ago. Went out and got pretty hammered at the bars, and then I see down the street, Cookie Monster, just standing there. Well I thought it was a good idea to jump on his back, we both fell to the ground, and that’s when I feel a shot to the…

This is such nonsense. As a high school teacher, former teenager and mother I cannot fathom how completely out of touch and deluded Jada Smith can possibly be. Like, almost devastatingly out of touch. This is the same mother who defended her adolescent daughter lolling around with a nineteen year old in bed too. When…

She keeps saying emancipated but he only wanted them to pay for him a mansion of his own. He didn’t want to be emancipated from their money. Any teenager can move out when their parents are rich and can afford to buy them another home in a rich, safe neighborhood and to hire a staff to take care of all their needs.…

So, it just dawned on me that Willow and Jaden were named after Will and Jada and now I feel totally stupid but also... mind blown. That is some weird shit right there.

If I had to listen to Jaden Smith for more than 30 seconds, I’d want him out of my house too.

Jaden: “Mom, how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?”

Jada: “you’re ready to move out of my house”

Jesus Christ. Will and Jada Smith are the worst fucking parents.

And neither of them are Bryce Dallas Howard. :D

How can you leave if you were never really there to begin with?

He has mommy and daddy’s money so he can live a delusional life.

Mom of the year

Wow, you really, really overreacted to my comment. This is Jezebel. All we do is judge here.

Davidson seems pushy and weird. Run girl

Given the heartlessness that characterises this administration, can we be certain that this was a joke? Radar suggests otherwise.

To me, a Pete Davidson joke is: bad, obvious message board comment, followed by a pregnant pause, eye bulge, and eyebrow raise. Like the joke is not the point, the awkward follow-up is? But like Jimmy Fallon giggling on SNL, it’s not funny when you do it every time.

Relationships are the most difficult part for people with BPD, it tends to be volatile and intense. The scrutiny of celebrity can only make things worse. Hopefully these kids can keep their heads above the water.