The Check Engine light inspired designers at HP when they created the Paper Jam indicator.....

Not sure about these new tires.....Curiosity isn't getting too many miles out its wheels....

At least you didn't get hit with...."I ordered Canadian Bacon and the pizza you gave me has ham on it !!!"

Almost sounds like an order I heard at a gas station once..... a lady said "I need Virgin Slims 100 Mild Ultra Light Low Tar".....(or something like that)

Well if you are a pissed off investor.....you could 'swat' them....when a SWAT team busts through the door it will be game over for them.

I thought the Imperial with Powerflite tranny was strange....

Excuse me...Excuse me.....I need to interrupt this.....Amber Rose don't deserve no HO award....Beyonce' does...she 's the true artist..

How many other raging bitches in Hollywood havent seen much work. Uh, whatever happened to Shannon Doherty ?

When Larry LaPrise, who wrote the song and dance classic 'The Hokey Pokey' died at 93 they had to have an open casket funeral.....the mortuary had a lot of problems during the preparation....you see....he'd put his left leg out...they'd put his left leg in....................

I know a wonderful couple who each had abusive parents (documented) to the point they ran away together and before they married he changed his last name to start fresh. They have great kids and are two of the most neat well centered people you could have as friends.

I was in line at a small family owned bakery that runs specials. The special was for a box but you could mix and match. A lady ahead of me picked out her donuts and the cashier (owners' daughter) said " okay, that's 12 assorted donuts...anything else ?" The lady looked at her and said "I thought the special was for a…

@Kaylee Allers and the Scallop Mini Burgers -

Just don't name the kid like the hillbilly mother did...

"I am a doctor educated by the School of Common Sense and the University of What Is Wrong With You."

This is your brain on 50 shades of Gray Goose.....

I just saw the xrays and they confirm my diagnosis.......Radar has been mailing a Jeep home one piece at a time.

Rednecks say it better....